Inspiration

Writing to me is like walking in a bewildering landscape, I never just write to tell a story, or to please people; nor do I write to shock people, rather it just happens. I am not necessarily inspired by literature of others, I get ideas sometimes but I always try and write in my own way and not mimic the work of someone else. I have been inspired though by surrealism, modernism, futurism and expressionism because they have opened doors and showed that there are other ways and that one does not need to be bound by strict rules and literary dogma. I, however, never attempt to deliberately write differently, I jus try and be as honest and as authentic as I can possibly manage.

I am very interested in Esoteric subjects and as such there is a lot of that to be found in my work; it always is about a quest, a mental adventure if you like. I am very fond of Freemasonry and in a way see my work as a search for more Light. So I do not aim for any traditional horror or occult fantasy; rather it is genuine revelation I am after, I do not attempt to write anything commercial or to present the reader with something sensational; it is rather that I try to have the reader be on a path that he must follow and that he himself wonders about things, which is why I try and write something that it is kind of alive, something that can change depending on how you choose to interpret the symbols. I am always inspired by the Bible, I think it is a greatly misunderstood book and what is sad, is that people usually read it as something definite and take it at face value, for me it is more of a key, something that force us in thought and tries to make us see things in different ways. I enjoy the Mystical, it offers us a way out of the phenomenal yet doe snot deny it; it shows us that there is more than meets the eyes and allows us to enter that strange world of mind and Spirit.

Life itself is probably the greatest source of inspiration for me, especially since in spite of all technology, nothing really is ever self-evident; this is especially true when it comes to the human mind. For me, writing is exploring, it is like being a Poor Knight, trying to unveil the mysteries, trying to come to a greater understanding.

Music always motivates me and I am especially fond of Bruckner and Wagner, because there is a lot of beautiful conflict in their music, their music has a depth that can truly stir the soul and rouse new born emotions in the individual. I am also fond of cinema, especially Ingmar Bergman has motivated me a lot, because his work truly is courageous and complex, it shows us the dangers of freedom and the quickness of insanity. Bergman's themes are close to my own, the silence and the constant presence of despair, the quickness with which one sinks in a grave of his own creation. I enjoy Fellini a lot aswell and a lot of the surrealism in my writing is inspired by him; the craziness with which Fellini came out, the constant changes of scenery and the constant change of tempo. I think Fellini actually had a great understanding of the mind and of reality; his work really shows what reality is truly like, it is non-linear and non-coherent; that themes is always present in my work and I think it is why people cling to certain routines, even to madness, because it is the only way they can cope. 8 1/2 is a masterpiece and works greatly on this theme, the madness of the filmmaker, the phantom of deliverance to which one clings because one is afraid of genuine revelation.

I am an Esoteric Philosopher and as such am always studying the Bible and the Kabbalah, both of which are detrimental to my work. The constant tension between vengeance and forgiveness is an important theme and it tells us that what we must always be vigilant. Kabbalism has always been dear to me and it plays an important role in my work because in a way my literary output is akin to a Kabbalistic Meditation, it deals with the possibility of enlightenment, but also with the danger of falling down, of delusion, abuse of power and in general looking for the easy way out, the trap of materialism. Emotions play a very important role in my work, people are so surrounded by quick comfort that they have forgotten all about emotional truth and as such there is a growing number of people suffering from emotional instability, issues which sometimes lead to devastating consequences. Man is trapped in a jungle of emotions, but rather than dealing with them, people often prefer to run away and find comfort. The question of spiritual growth as such -and the way it finds expression in my work- is that we must learn to surrender and to listen, we must learn to have Faith as it has been so beautiful described by Kierkegaard in his 'fear and trembling'; what man fears above all is to genuinely live and to look for something higher inside one's own self; it is often ironic that man enjoys to surround himself with light, not that he fears the dark, but rather because he fears true illumination; and that in a way is the core of my work, the quest for True Light.

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